
- Marcus Crompton
About Marcus Crompton
- Location:
- United Kingdom
- Interests:
- It was on the day of the Glasgow Trade fair I set forth and wandered
Along the greening dewy glens with underpants unlaundered
Eight pot noodles and a mouldy tent made sure of my survival
In Scotlands misted wilderness and ultimate arrival
At lovely Cannich YHA extolled in works of fiction
I happily set down my pack and explored the members kitchen
Hostellers from far and wide with cheery beards and sandals
Went busily about their tasks with not a hint of scandal
A friendly german couple sat and shared their boiled potatoes
Earnest cyclists compared pumps and talked of close-set ratios
A red-faced girl spoke softly of her rambling holiday
Whilst I cleaned my boots and stowed my anorak away
But shortly after eight o-clock as we played a game of rummy
The warden came to the common-room his demeanour far from sunny
Gather round all hostellers He tore the calm assunder
We sat stock-still stopped mid-deal and listened as he thundered
I have something I must say to you
Something I never thought in my WILDEST dreams I would EVER have to say
Something awful something terrible has happened in the male ablutions
Someone a small child perhaps or possibly a dog
But judging by the size of what is there I doubt it very much
Has left a THINGYon the floor yes EXCREMENT has been DEPOSITED there
Would the person who did this terrible thing please put their hand up now
If no-one owns up I shall have no choice but to report ALL OF YOU
To the SCOTTISH YOUTH HOSTELS ASSOCIATION
The longest silence came and went we sat and shook with fear
But no-one put their hand up no-one did I hear
Admit that they had done the deed and pooed upon the floor
The warden gave out one last sigh and turned and closed the door
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General Information
- Last Activity
- 19-09-2015 01:52 PM
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- 15-04-2003
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